When Words Fail Me
Dear Friend,
As a writer, finding the most concise word is important. Using the word flower, for example, might be sufficient. Yet, a red rose brings a very distinct image to mind. The color, the smell, the thorns, the symbol of love. It makes a difference. Words matter. In writing. And in life.
Yet, there are times when I realize afresh that words have limitations. It’s quite the conundrum; this appreciation I have for words, how I relish the weight of them, how much I value their significance in human communication and then poof—something happens, and I can’t find the right words to describe the depth of my emotions.
Recent events, nationally and personally, have created this phenomenon where my emotions are like a great big lake that someone dumped Scrabble tiles into and the letters are bobbing around. No words seem strong enough, big enough, charged enough to describe how I feel.
What are we to do while the world beyond our windows goes crazy with hatred? And isn’t that the real problem? Hatred? The kind that burns hot enough to assassinate someone. The kind that laughs at atrocities committed against people or a person we don’t like. An emotion that warps reality, disfigures good sound judgment, and villainizes anyone who doesn’t agree with us. Hatred that twists what we hear and believe until we are deaf and blinded by it. A force that has us fighting people, has us ready to overpower anything and anyone that threatens our desires when the battle has never been against flesh and blood. How did we get here? My soul groans with grief because I don’t know. And what’s worse is I’m not sure anyone knows how to change it. Could our love be powerful enough to light the darkness descending upon our country?
I don’t think so.
But instead of wallowing in my big emotions, my big questions, and my big situations, I run to my Heavenly Father and listen to the words of a song my daughter mentioned yesterday. “The More I Seek You” by Gateway Worship.
Because when words fail me, I seek Him. “I want to sit at His feet,” just like the lyrics say. “I want to drink from the cup in [His] hand, lay back against [ Him] and breathe, feel [His] heartbeat.” When I’m captivated by Him in a Holy moment, that’s when I realize He’s the only answer to the darkness. He’s the only power that can overcome the hatred because He is love, and it’s only the love of God in us and through us that can prevail against hatred.
Blessings,
Julia Kay